Weird Al, Sirius Style
by the7bells
Summary: Pretty much Sirius has gotten it into his head that he wants to spoof songs like Weird Al...but he isn't very good. Lil Bunny Foo Foo up! Any show-tune song suggestions? I ish open for any suggestions, tell me in your REVIEW! (hint hint) Rated for safety.
1. Gee, Professor Dippet

Summary: Sirius' pathetic attempts at parodies. Needless to say, he's not very good…

Disclaimer: Gee Officer Krupke, NOT MINE!!!!! Marauders…Not mine! Anything related to Harry Potter that's not completely spoofed, guess what? ITS NOT MINE!!! Whadda ya know?

James looked around the room, Peter talking to the rats in the corner, Lily talking to Remus on educated topics, 3 girls in the corner sniggering, Sirius working diligently on… Wait, SIRIUS WORKING????

Something was wrong.

He walked up.

"Sirius, what are you doing?"

"Oh hey James! I am going to go into the singing career, by being the wizards equivilant of Weird Al Yancowitz(A/N if I spelled it wrong sorry) Wanna help?"

Meanwhile, James was backing away. "No thanks Padfoot"

"Suit yourself."

He resumed thinking. What was a song. Hmmm. Well, he had seen West Side Story on Broadway with James when they had gone on their trip to NYC.

He had especially liked "Gee, Officer Krupke"

A devilish smile spread across his face and began to write.

James, meanwhile was talking to Lily and Remus.

"Sirius has finally lost it, he's going to become a spoof singer"

Lily runs upstairs and hides, now extremely paranoid.

Remus: "I'm with her"

James "Me too"

They also run upstairs and hide under Lily's bed, veeryy paranoid.

Gee, Professor Dippet

By Sirius Black

Dear kindly Professor Dippet,  
You gotta understand,  
It's just our lack of morals  
That gets us out of hand.  
Our mothers didn't teach us,  
Our fathers didn't care.  
Golly, natcherly we're troublemakers!

Gee, Professor Dippet, we're very upset;  
We never had the sense that ev'ry child should get.  
We ain't no delinquents,  
We're misunderstood.  
Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good!

There is good, there is good,  
There is untapped good!  
Like inside, the worst of us is good!

**James: **_(Spoken)_ That's a touchin' good story.

Sirius _(Spoken)_ Lemme tell it to the world!

**James:** Just tell it to the judge.

**Peter**   
Dear kindly Professor, your Honor,  
My tricks treat me rough.  
With all their effects,  
They give me a problem.  
The prank somehow backfired,  
So now I'm addicted, I know it's sad.  
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!

**Remus: **_(As Judge)_ Right!

Professor Dippet, you're really a square;  
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!  
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.  
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

**Sirius**   
I'm disturbed!

**Marauders**  
We're disturbed, we're disturbed,  
We're the most disturbed,  
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.

**Remus: **_(Spoken, as Judge)_ In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't got any brains.

Sirius _(Spoken)_ Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

**James: **So take him to a headshrinker.

**Sirius** _(Sings)_  
My tricks are genius,  
My pranks are brilliant.  
My grandpa's always praising,  
My grandma thinks he's weird.  
My best friend wears a acts real stupid,

I like him even less!   
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

**Peter: **_(As Psychiatrist)_ Yes!  
Professor Dippet, you're really a slob.  
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.  
He's played himself a terrible trick,  
And sociologic'ly he's sick!

**Sirius**   
I am sick!

**ALL**   
We are sick, we are sick,  
We are sick, sick, sick,  
Like we're sociologically sick!

**Peter:** In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Pranking is purely a stupidity disease!

**Sirius:** Hey, I got a stupid disease!

Peter So take him to a Caretaker!

**Sirius**  
Dear kindly caretaker,  
They say go and bug off.  
Leave them alone,  
Which means like be a good little child...  
It's not I'm anti-social,  
I'm only anti-work.  
Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk!

**James:** _(As Female Social Worker)_  
Eek!   
Professor Dippet, you've done it again.  
This boy needs something, a year in the pen.  
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;  
Deep down inside him, he's no good!

**Sirius**   
I'm no good!

**ALL**  
We're no good, we're no good!  
We're no earthly good,  
Like the best of us is no damn good!

**Remus** _(As Judge)_  
The trouble is he's crazy.

**James** _(As Psychiatrist)_  
The trouble is he stinks.

**Peter** _(As Female Social Worker)_  
The trouble is he's lazy.

**Remus**   
The trouble is he thinks.

**James**  
The trouble is he's growing.

**Peter**  
The trouble is he's grown.

**ALL**   
Dippet, we got pranks of our own!

Gee, Professor Dippet,  
We're down on our knees,  
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease.  
Gee, Professor Dippet,  
What are we to do?  
Gee, Professor Dippet,  
We'll just prank you!

Sirius is now singing this song so loud they can hear it in the dorms.

James: Why the hell does he have to sing so loud?

Lily: I don't know I kind of like it.

James and Remus: o0

Lily now laughing:well it does kind of describe you guys….

Author is by now in tears at the horribleness, so she wants people to come tell her how bad it is by clicking that little button…


	2. James takes a shot at it

Disclaimer: Don't own anything you reconize (Don't own My Fair Lady either)

Sirius: Come on James, Give it a try

insert long pointless argument

Sirius: Fine mate, than I guess you don't care if I tell the room whispers about the time we were 8, and you thought you were a girl and spent an entire day in London wearing a dress.

James: YOU WOULDN'T!

Sirius: Wouldn't I?

James: takes quill Oh, fine.

Just You Wait Lily Evans

**James:**

Just you wait Lily Evans, just you wait!  
I'll be happy cause We will finely date!  
We'll have fun and a sonny;  
Will you dump me? Don't be funny!  
Just you wait, Lily Evans, just you wait!  
Just you wait Lily Evans, till you're sick,  
And I ask you to date me double quick!  
I'll be off a second later,  
Cause you said yes-atre!  
Ah-ha-ha, Lily Evans,  
Just you wait!  
Oooooh, Lily Evans!  
Just you wait until we're swimmin' in the sea!  
Oooooh, Lily Evans!  
And you get a cramp a little ways from me!  
When you yell you're gonna drown,  
I'll save you and go to town!  
Oh-ho-ho, Lily Evans,  
Oh-ho-ho, Lily Evans,  
Just you wait!  
One day you will say yes!

I'll be proper and prim!  
Go to Saint James so often you will call me Saint Jim.  
One evening I will say,  
"Oh Lily, old thing,  
I want all of England your praises to sing."  
**James(as king)**  
"Next week, on the twentieth of May,  
I proclaim Lily Potter Day!  
All the people will celebrate the glory of you,  
And whatever you wish and want  
I gladly will do."  
**James**  
"Thanks a lot, James," says you, in a manner wellbred;  
"But all I want is to be with you!"  
**James as KING**  
"Done,"

**James**  
says I, with a stroke.  
**KING **  
"Guards, run and bring in the bloke!"  
**James**  
Then they'll march you, Lily Evans, to the hall;  
And the priest will tell me:  
KING  
"James, say your call."  
**James**  
As they raise the veil higher,  
I'll shout: "Ready! Yes!"  
Oh-ho-ho, Lily Evans,  
On dates you'll go! Lily Evans!  
Just you wait!

Read and Review!


	3. Lil Bunny Foo Foo

Disclaimer: I don't own this. If I did, then well, that would just not be right. And Gen is BlooperQueens

Sirius was now talking to Gen.

Sirius: Hey Gen, do you like my spoof?

Gen: No. Sirius, would you please leave? Or else I may just have to push into the fire.

Sirius: But then, wouldn't you regret it? puppy eyes

Gen just laughed and shoved him.

Sirius: I'll sing you one of my spoofs!

Gen: No. Please don't!

Sirius:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,

Hopping on the Quidditch Pitch

Trying to avoid Bludgers,

And failing miserably instead!

Gen: Don't do that again. Please.

Okay end of chapter. It's short, but I love my real spoof of the song (is there such a thing?)

Little Bunny Foo Foo (or plug in any name of someone you hate)

Hopping down the highway,

Looking for some field mice (or looking for some brains)

And getting run over instead (funness, now your enemy is dead!)


	4. I feel prettyugly

Look people. Don't you get it? I'm tired of explaining that I DON'T OWN IT!

Now, reviews.

Blooper Queen: What's that snort supposed to mean you little wewe weewoo?

Taraus07: I know how much you love this song snort And it's good for something see? Isn't it an improvement?

Tyedye/Rin: Hey, sup? So anyway, miss you. Band is fun, our songs are awesome, and here's your update!

Sirius: Hey Lily, I got a song to spoof, can I use you as my singer?

Lily: No.

Sirius: Please? Gives puppy dog look

Lily: So long as I'm not some prostitute singing…

**Lily**  
I feel ugly,  
Oh, so ugly,  
I feel ugly and pugly and white!  
But I pity  
Sirius, who's stuck with me tonight.

I feel alarming,  
Oh, so alarming  
It's charming how alarming I feel!  
And so ugly  
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the ugly girl in that mirror there:  
Who can that hideous girl be?  
Such a scary face,  
Such a scary uniform,  
Such a crooked smile,  
Such a ugly me!

I feel tired  
And bitchy,  
Feel like hiding and crushing the boys!  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty horrible boy!

**GIRLS**  
Have you met my good friend Lily,  
The craziest girl in the school?  
You'll know her the minute you see her,  
She's the one who is in an advanced state of cool.

He thinks he's in love.  
She thinks he's vain.  
He isn't in love,  
He's merely insane.

It must be the heat  
Or some rare disease,  
Or too much to eat  
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,  
Send for police!  
This is not the  
Lily we know!

Modest and pure,  
Polite and refined,  
Well-bred and mature  
And out of her mind!

**Lily**  
I feel ugly,  
Oh, so ugly  
That the castle should give me its king.  
A committee  
Should be organized to kill me.

**GIRLS**  
La la la la . . .

**Lily**  
I feel dizzy,  
I feel angry,  
I feel mean and nasty and fine,  
And so ugly,  
Sirius, the most annoying, can just resign!

**GIRLS**  
La la la la . . .

**Lily**  
See the ugly girl in that mirror there:

**GIRLS**  
What mirror where? Oh, it cracked.

**Lily**  
Who can that nerdy girl be?

**GIRLS**  
Which? What? Where? Whom? You? Oh.

**Lily**  
Such a ugly face,  
Such outdated robes,  
Such a crooked smile,  
Such a ugly me!

**GIRLS**  
Such an ugly me!

**ALL**  
I feel cunning  
And so spiffy,  
Feel making the boys run from me,  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty horibble boy!

Sirius began to sing this song to the entire common room when he finished. Gen began to give him multiple face fives before he finished to whole stanzas.

Sirius: Okay I'll stop!

Gen: still smacking him I don't think so. Lily wanna join?

Lily: Sure, soon as I'm done talking to James. NO JAMES I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!smacks James

Fin, at least for this chapter


End file.
